Sunday, August 14, 2005
LOCAL BORES PLAN RARE EVENING OUT
A ripple of excitement passed through a local Tim Horton's on Saturday night as local dullards Laura Springate, Niamh Canavan and Ashley Willems decided that all three would be available for a night of drinking and dancing on the 26th of August.
"We've planned outings before, but they never quite seem to work out", said Springate to nobody in particular. "I have a good feeling about this time though. As long as we don't end up somehow trapped overnight in an abandoned, haunted mine shaft like last time, it should be good fun". Springate went on to add that she will be attending the Roger's Cup tennis tournament this coming week, though what that had to do with this story remains unclear.
When reached for comment, Willems claimed that she too, was excited for this potential evening out: "Usually I just sit at home and cry, so I think that this will probably be a bit better than that. I just hope that Whiskers will agree to come. I just don't know what he'll wear though. He's got a bit of a weight problem and so he's a bit self-conscious". Suddenly Willems eyes grew wide in fear, "you won't tell him I said that will you?"
Asked about the alleged August 26th plans whilst plying her trades at the local Animal Zoo, the leprauchan-clad Canavan appeared overjoyed at the prospect of a night of hard drinking. "I'm Irish you know. We like to drink. We also like potatoes", she added while shovelling a bowl of hearty mashed potatoes into her mouth. "I can't wait to get pissed drunk and pass out by the side of a road", continued Canavan in clear hearing range of a group of young, impressionable children. "If we can get a hold of some weed then all the better".
PS. Jaclyn I expect you to come as well. No excuses!
A ripple of excitement passed through a local Tim Horton's on Saturday night as local dullards Laura Springate, Niamh Canavan and Ashley Willems decided that all three would be available for a night of drinking and dancing on the 26th of August.
"We've planned outings before, but they never quite seem to work out", said Springate to nobody in particular. "I have a good feeling about this time though. As long as we don't end up somehow trapped overnight in an abandoned, haunted mine shaft like last time, it should be good fun". Springate went on to add that she will be attending the Roger's Cup tennis tournament this coming week, though what that had to do with this story remains unclear.
When reached for comment, Willems claimed that she too, was excited for this potential evening out: "Usually I just sit at home and cry, so I think that this will probably be a bit better than that. I just hope that Whiskers will agree to come. I just don't know what he'll wear though. He's got a bit of a weight problem and so he's a bit self-conscious". Suddenly Willems eyes grew wide in fear, "you won't tell him I said that will you?"
Asked about the alleged August 26th plans whilst plying her trades at the local Animal Zoo, the leprauchan-clad Canavan appeared overjoyed at the prospect of a night of hard drinking. "I'm Irish you know. We like to drink. We also like potatoes", she added while shovelling a bowl of hearty mashed potatoes into her mouth. "I can't wait to get pissed drunk and pass out by the side of a road", continued Canavan in clear hearing range of a group of young, impressionable children. "If we can get a hold of some weed then all the better".
PS. Jaclyn I expect you to come as well. No excuses!
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